Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
