and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
