my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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