Don't make out with my wife yet
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
