your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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