I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
