before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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