And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
