we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
