Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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