I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
the day after is always just damage control
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Randomize
