yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
