so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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