did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
