she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
