Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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