We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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