Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
