she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
