she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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