So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i wish my penis had a tongue
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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