Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
