ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
