I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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