yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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