I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize