that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
