Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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