You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
