i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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