So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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