I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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