It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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