So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
no you cant smoke seaweed
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
