no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
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it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
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We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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