Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
