i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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