Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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