I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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