____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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