I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
