Please, let me fuck your mom
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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