yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
