Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
The power of my boobs compel you
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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