As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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