wanna go halves on a baby?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize