just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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