I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize