so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
