I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
