her vagina looked like bernie madoff
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
