he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
