You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
God, I missed his penis.
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