Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
