where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
