he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
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then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
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