If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
