I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
