if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
