I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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