she was so not down for the gang bang
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
