we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
