i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
